Man and wife go to restaurant for celebratory dinner, staff leaves them unattended: ‘I decided not to tip.’

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 26, 2025 7:00 AM EST

One of America's favorite pastimes is discussing tipping culture. It's one of those things about which no one has a genuinely neutral opinion. Whether you lie on the side of "you must always tip 20% since servers don't make a living wage" or on the side of "I shouldn't have to pay more than I expect to," it's a conversation that we all know how to have. There are so many different perspectives to speak from. If you've ever been a server, you will go forth into the world and tip well for the rest of your life. If you demand good service, you will be withholding with your hard-earned cash. Either way, it's an expert way to break the ice, get a person riled up, and a way to learn about someone's politics without "getting into politics."

If you do fall in the camp of people who believe tips are earned on merit, good service, and performance, then you'll probably appreciate this man's perspective. It seems that he and his wife were trying to enjoy a lovely celebratory dinner but were met with an inattentive staff. Should he have tipped anyway? Or was the onus on the staff for their poor service?


 

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  • 01
    GARAGE BULES GUSTO EXIT WASHROOMS DOWNSTAIRS The
    via Nick Hillier
  • 02

    "Staff forgot about us, I didn’t tip"

    Wife and I went to a nice place for a celebratory dinner. The bill was $200. The hostess showed us to our table, then the server brought us water and took our drink order. The place was pretty quiet, with may 8-10 other patrons. 15 minutes went by, so I went to try to find our server. I didn't see her but mentioned to the hostess that we were ready to order if she could find our server.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 03
    Fast forward 10 more minutes, I went back up to the front desk and found our server and the hostess both scrolling on their phones in silence. I said "Excuse me, we are ready to order when you're ready." They both jumped out of their skin and tucked their phones away. The server came and took our order and the night proceeded normally after that.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 04
    Given that we waited 25 minutes to order our food (also didn't get our drinks until after we ordered food), and I know what the server was actually doing in the mean time, I decided not to tip.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 05

    Commenters shared their experience with bad service

    Someone else had a similar experience. They called the restaurant from their table and placed their order. The manager became their loyal waiter!!
    via RoseKaKe
  • 06
    We were once seated and forgotten. The menu had the restaurant's phone number, so we called them and said, "Yeah, we're at table number (whatever) and we're ready to order." The manager and server both came over and were all apologies. We told them we weren't mad, just hungry.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 07
    They comped us part of the meal, so we tipped. If they hadn't comped us, we probably wouldn't have. You're NTA.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 08
    NTA - I see nothing wrong with not tipping in this situation
    via RoseKaKe
  • 09
    NTA. You should call and speak to the manager about the service you received.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 10
    I probably would have walked out the moment I saw them scrolling on their phones. In fact, I once did walk out on a restaurant where I waited for more than half an hour without a server deigning to grace my table with their presence NTA
    via RoseKaKe
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10456125184
    via Jessie McCall
  • 12

    Here's what bad service feels like from a bartender's perspective

    NTA: as a bartender and as someone who this has happened to before, I completely understand your frustration. My story is I work in the service industry.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 13
    I went to a restaurant where I'm my girlfriend and I were regulars. Now I kind of don't dress the part because I hate putting on clothes to go out to eat, but that shouldn't stop me from getting good service. I
    via RoseKaKe
  • 14
    getting good service. I watched my server flirt with these two women for 20 minutes while my drink sat empty. He never checked on us. He never refilled our drinks. The chef came out said hello to us said great to see you guys again and refilled my drinks. Another
    via RoseKaKe
  • 15
    again. When the check came, I paid I left him Nothing, my girlfriend decided to leave him money. As we were walking out the door, I felt him staring at me and glaring, but I overheard him say they didn't tip me but one of his coworkers who knows us said you must've done something wrong because they normally leave 50Percent.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 16
    Servers assume just because someone sits at their table that they are going to get a tip that's not how this industry works. You're making it harder for people like me who actually know how to do their job and do their job properly.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 17
    NTA. Its one thing if the place was packed, but u said it was pretty quiet. There's no excuse for them to be just scrolling on their phones while customers are waiting. Its their job to pay attention to the tables. They basically werent doing their job for a good chunk of the time. U were right not to tip. They need to learn that they cant just ignore ppl and still expect to get paid for it. Its not ur fault they were lazy.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 18
    NTA. My husband and I once stopped at a diner beside a gas station in a snow storm. There were eight other folks there, two truckers, a family of four, and another couple. Waitress seated us, handed us menus and disappeared.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 19
    After about 20 minutes, I went to the coffee pot and filled my cup and my husband's. I then went around to see if anyone else wanted coffee. Another 15 minutes goes by and I walked up to the window into the kitchen and asked the cook if he's cooking. He looked surprised, said yes, and I proceeded to go to each table and take their orders and hand them to the cook. He rang his bell when
    via RoseKaKe
  • 20
    cook. He rang his bell when each order was up and I took them to whomever they belonged to.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 21
    About halfway through eating, our waitress finally shows up and is very confused as to how everyone has food. She went into the kitchen and slammed out of there shortly after. The cook came out, said that our meals were no charge for poor service and told us we were welcome to stay as long as we needed until the storm blew over.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 22
    And that was the night I got a job offer (we were 300 miles from home so I had to decline) and made $100 in tips for doing someone else's job.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 23
    I have a once and done policy w/ service based establishments. Don't tip, don't return. Plenty of people in the world are happy to work for your $, find them and tell all your friends about them.
    via RoseKaKe
  • 24

    Yeesh. Better keep up the good work, then!

    As a former chef, please call and tell the management. We hated people like this and want them fired.
    via RoseKaKe

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tipping reddit story restaurant food service workplace drama Reddit service industry couple
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